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8/27/19

I'm a rock. I'm not allowed to show evidence of my struggles in public. Come on. Get it together. I need to learn how to cry.
Recent posts

8/31/18

I'm feeling really good this week. By good, I guess I mean fulfilled. I'm still trying to learn some things about who I am at 26 and who I want to be moving forward. One part of me at 26 that is decidedly different from me at 20 is my level of interpersonal interaction. I was as extroverted as they came once upon a time. Now I'm feeling the need for introversion (and introspection) more and more. I'm starting to see it a bit in my day-to-day life, just since Wednesday. I'm so full of energy being in contact with people I know or have spoken with previously; in short, those around whom I'm comfortable. I'm not sure why it's taken this long, but I'm much more comfortable talking to the Swifties this week, and I'm diving headfirst into interacting within my new fantasy football league. The latter probably surprises me more, but perhaps it's because I've had time to grow with the former that I'm not as apprehensive as immediately lettin...

8/3/18

Stella was an inquisitive child. From the time she could talk, she spoke in questions. Ever curious about the world around her, Stella's curiosity flustered all those with whom she came in contact. Those that were closest to the girl were flustered in a bemused sort of way, but every so often she got on people's nerves. Her mother always told her, "don't you let them worry you, Stella. It's not a sin to ask questions." By and large, most people did not fall into the latter category; nearly everyone was more than happy to oblige her. (I'd really like to get more into this story, so I'll likely revisit it and add on.)

8/1/18

I've only met with him twice, but it already seems like T.M. really gets me. Maybe it's because of who he is; maybe I'm more easily readable than I like to believe. Regardless, I like following his suggestions and recommendations. Again, this may just be that T.M. is T.M., but I feel like he is putting absolutely no pressure on me to follow through on his requests. In fact, it was he who suggested I started this paragraph-a-day project. I'm starting to take just a little bit of initiative in some other areas too, which is the first time that's happened in a while. I haven't been keeping much track on how often I have empty days, but when I was empty last night it seemed like the first time in a while. I'm going to see him again tomorrow; I'm sure as the time approaches I'll get a little nervous once again. But overall, thoughts of my visits to T.M. are positive and I even find myself looking forward to them occasionally. This is progress. This is g...

7/31/18

As their ice cream comas began to set in, and a few of the children took advantage of the group setting to sneak a second or third helping, the conversation turned to privilege and the less fortunate. John spoke up, his nearly-empty paper bowl resting comfortably between his hand and his rotund belly. "Something I think about a lot and often take for granted is that I've never missed a meal in my life." "But Dad," piped up a confident young voice that could only belong to nine-year-old Ashley. "You skip breakfast all the time!" John, both amused and impressed by his daughter's intuition, replied, his smile audible in his words: "Yes, that's true. What I mean to say is, whether I eat them or not, I have always had access to three meals a day. There are so many without that luxury."

7/30/18

Your dreams are smothered by your circumstances. Curtis Martin said these words in an NFL documentary about his life; the Hall of Fame running back rose above his specific circumstances - living in a violent Pittsburgh neighborhood - to become the fourth-leading rusher in league history. Certainly, we all have dreams. Some are grander than others, but they exist nonetheless. Circumstances can definitely smother some of those dreams, too. Circumstances, like dreams, vary from person to person. In Curtis Martin's case, his circumstances could have easily resulted in his early death. Not all circumstances are that dire or dramatic. Some dream-smothering circumstances could be mental, emotional, or physical blocks. A man in a wheelchair with a full-leg cast on, for instance, would have to forestall his dreams of becoming a world-class runner. Some dreams are smothered so much by depression that those dreams no longer exist. In those cases, the circumstances could become so smothering...